A Current Affairs And Social Critic Blog



November 15, 2022



I want to start with my subtitle number 3. I have constantly condemned the so-called Peace Accord that has been orchestrated every four years during Nigeria’s general elections. I call it a façade that achieves absolutely nothing, other than squandering of public funds by the orchestrators. War, rather than peace, continues among the election candidates after every fucked-up accord is signed! I have particularly lambasted the chairman (or whatever his title) of the façade, retired General Abdusalami Abubakar. Why? Because his charade stopes after the signing of the lame document that is called peace accord, that’s why! He never condemns the evil warring politicians who render his so-called peace accord nonsensical. I have links to a couple of my past blogs on this for you at the end of this piece, as I always do.

Now, Abubakar has finally said something. I heard today that he has finally admonished candidates to warn their spokes persons against inflammatory comments and words in their campaigns. To me, however, Abubakar still sounds puny and ineffective. He needs to do more than his puny statement. If he doesn’t know what to do, here is my help. Use the power that I know that you have, and do something effective, not some puny statements! Influence our electoral body, our police, and other relevant agencies to enforce discipline. Of course, NBB is a champion of discipline and the rule of law. So, I’m not asking Abubakar to go outside the law to do anything. There is no fucking need to break any law. One thing that Nigeria does have in abundance is body of laws. The fucking problem is that crooks who have ruled Nigeria since 1999 refuse to enforce the fucking laws, meeeeeeeeeen!!!

Abubakar has the power to influence the enforcement of the laws that are relevant to make people to obey his doggone peace accord. If he can’t apply the power, or if he hasn’t got it; then why the fuck did he take up the assignment that has now become a façade and a charade rolled into one? We don’t even need the doggone peace-accord, if only every motherfucker out there is forced to obey laws, like in sane societies. I can find a gazillion INEC statutory rules that are being violated every fucking day among the 2023 elections gladiators and their teams. I mean open atrocities, and not hidden! But Nigeria police, Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), the electoral body (INEC), and other relevant agencies look the other way. They leave me no choice but to postulate that they are probably bought over by the erring candidates. It’s either that, or they are loyal to criminal parties and criminal politicians in government, against their sworn constitutional duty to serve the interests of 200-and-odd million people of Nigeria. They refuse to solve several crimes and oodles of immorality that are currently happening among the gladiators in the 2023 general elections. I repeat, if General Abubakar can’t influence those agencies to perform their duties, he shouldn’t have initiated the so-called peace accord, meeeeeeeeen!!!

Anyway, the foregoing is just a fortuitous preamble. Before I heard of Abubakar’s comment this morning, I already decided to lambaste a spokesman of Atiku Abubakar, the PDP’s presidential candidate today. Umm huh, Atiku’s spokesman Don Pedro Obaseke, fucked up yesterday (Nov 14, 2022), big time! The motherfucker was in a TV interview on AIT, and he referred to a man as “that boy,” on international TV! Unbelievable! Don, if you read this, I apologize just a little, because ‘Mr. No Bullshitting (Mr. NB)’ called you motherfucker. I couldn’t stop ‘him’ because it is a house rule that whosoever that deserves to be called ‘motherfucker,’ does get called ‘motherfucker.’ No favoritism! All that, to say that Don and I are acquaintances. Yet, I couldn’t influence ‘Mr. No Bullshitting’ to spare him, because his autocratic sin is too much to forgive! Anyway, the TV program that had Obaseke was interactive. Obeseke got offended because “that boy” who happened to be a man sent in a message that condemned Obaseke’s candidate and their PDP. Mind you, chances were that the man might have been years older than Obaseke, but Obaseke was too stupid to care. Obeseke’s attack on the viewer was the height of immaturity in electioneering in a democracy. I had too much respect for him, to believe that he actually vomited those words, if I didn’t hear him myself. The host of the show, Amaechi Anakwue, had to quickly caution Obaseke with, “A gentleman.” Despite Amaechi’s correction, Obaseke still didn’t show any remorse for being such a rude, arrogant, autocratic idiot, meeeeeeeeen!!!

If I said it once, I said it a gazillion times, that election-rigging tradition has rendered politicians who grew up in Nigeria stupidly arrogant, oppressive, and disdainful to the electorate. This has been so because the crooks who have been ruling Nigeria had no need to please the voters. They did not need the people’s votes. They never needed democratic campaigners to win the hearts of voters because votes never counted. All that the crooks needed were people who knew how to rig elections.

You know, I love it whenever I can cite my own experience to illustrate my points. Umm huh, once upon my trip to Nigeria, the nation’s general elections were impending. And I said to myself, “Self, why don’t you check things out and see what’s in it for you, as a media promotional campaign production professional?” So, I sought and secured a meeting with a PDP political party stalwart. I won’t bore you with much detail. Suffice to say that the PDP stalwart cut my presentation short, when I overheard him whisper to his comrade who brought me to him. He said, “Look, what we need is who is good in rigging elections.”

That was about twelve years ago. And the rigging got worse by the day! In that one short disdainful statement, the dude spoke a huge volume. It’s like; ‘What the fuck do we need a publicist or image-maker for, when we know that there is no need to win the hearts of voters? Votes don’t count, you fool! So get this motherfucking Harry Agina outta my office now!’ Truly, that’s what the dude’s short statement and the attitude behind it hit me as! And the message was clear. It was not time yet for that aspect of my general communications profession in Nigeria, period! So, I was hoping for the electoral reform that will make votes to begin to count in Nigeria. I hoped for a reform that will reverse the evil tradition of election rigging and make my profession relevant in Nigeria.

Mind you, my professional interest was important alright, but it could not possibly match the importance of saving the scores of lives that were lost during every fucking election in Nigeria. If you haven’t read my past commentaries where I call politicians in Nigeria “murderers by proxy,” then you may want to check them out. I have the link to one for ya. Yap, most Nigerian politicians do hire and arm thugs with all manner of weapons to rig elections for them. That’s a fact! They also know that the thugs murder voters and election workers with those weapons as they rig the elections! They can’t possibly pretend not to know this fact!

Now, the electoral reform that I prayed for, and Nigerians in Nigeria fought for, finally arrived in 2022. It was over twelve years after the disdainful reference to image-making to win votes by a PDP politician. But, as they say; better late, than never! And now what pisses me off is that some criminal fools still do not understand how to talk to voters who now have the power to decide who gets into public offices. Those political fools and crooks of Nigeria still think that they can continue to talk to the public with their criminal disdain. Of course, they can if they want to, but it now comes with repercussions of losing elections. PDP and APC parties (the two sides of one coin) are truly fucked up in that autocratic madness. Just recently, PDP national chairman referred to a group of state governors as “ranting children.” He was so stupid because the governors disagreed with his obvious and proven lack of integrity. In line with Chairman Ayu’s stupidity, several PDP campaigners have shown that it is actually a PDP systemic flaw. Like many PDP spokesmen, Obaseke has just demonstrated this when he referred to a man who disagreed with PDP’s deeds as “that boy.”

Do remember that No Bullshitting neither exaggerates facts, nor lie. Whatever that I write as a quote happened exactly in those words! Really, Obaseke’s bullshit pissed me off so much that I momentarily dropped what I was doing yesterday to pour out this blog. Nigerian politicians are yet to come to terms that times have changed. I mean, how is it that these people claim to be ‘all that’ in politics, yet they don’t know shit, huh? They lack the simple art of winning people’s hearts, to win votes in a democracy. Doesn’t it ever occur to such militocratic idiots that the voters who they now need their votes are watching their words and behaviors? And unlike before the electoral reform, the voters now ask questions and think well before they vote? For instance, why would any sane voter vote for a party that calls Nigerians “children” and “boys” and other names, huh? Nigerians must bear one thing in mind. A presidential candidate and his team who are treating Nigerians disrespectfully and disdainfully now, will become worse as dictators if they win the presidency. The team is very likely to be more lawless, more disdainful, and more autocratic than President Buhari’s horrible government, meeeeeeeeeen!!!

I will close this with a couple of famous historical quotes, thus: “It’s too bad that a guy has to rely on a gimmick like television to get elected.” Those were the words of Richard Nixon of America in 1968, when he was preparing to appear on “The Mike Douglas (TV) Show.” It was in the developmental days of Television. Nixon was campaigning for the seat of the president of the USA. Roger Ailes, a Producer of the “Mike Douglas Show,” promptly responded, thus: “Television is no gimmick, and nobody will ever be elected to major office again without presenting themselves well on it.” Mr. Ailes was perfectly right back then in the 20th century. Ever since, all successful major politicians in the USA are “made” or “destroyed” by the TV, depending on how they present themselves to win public love and acceptance.

Now let’s relate the foregoing to Nigeria’s history and current situation. The media scenario is now different and more complex in the 21st century than it was during Nixon’s 20th century era. The media sector has exploded beyond the TV. We now have the New Media. Hence, now, “a guy has to rely on a gimmick like television,” in addition to the “gimmick like” social media to get elected. This is the scenario in the democratic world. Sadly, before the 2022 Electoral Reform Law, Nigeria was not with the rest of the democratic world in this regard. Nigerian politicians did not need to win the hearts of the people to become rulers. The best election-rigger ‘won’ the elections. This tradition rendered Roger Ailes’s position nonsensical in Nigeria. Incidentally, this is also what has adversely affected majority of home-grown media practitioners and political ‘image-makers’ such as Obaseke in Nigeria. It rendered them unprepared for this new era of reformed democracy. I repeat myself, that Nigerians have finally forced the crooks at their National Parliament to pass the new electoral reform bill in this 2022, and the situation has changed.

With the change, comes my 21st-century revision of Roger Ailes’s 20th-century pronouncement, thus: Henceforth, nobody will ever be elected to major office again in Nigeria without presenting themselves well on TV, Radio, and the Social-Media. I know that you know that I ain’t bullshitting ya, meeeeeeeeeen!!!






0 Reviews

Write a Review

Read Previous


Read Next