A Current Affairs And Social Critic Blog

NO-BULLSHITTING-LOGO-1-150x150-removebg-preview

WHAT INDEPENDENCE ARE NIGERIANS CELEBRATING?

NOTE: First published on October 7, 2020. The “Published” date on the tab is the date that it was uploaded on this new site. Though some issues in this piece may still be current (depending on…), this is to avoid mistaking this piece as current news.

This is “No Bullshitting,” by Harry Agina.

Greetings, folks!

An American friend woke me up with a phone call on October 1, 2020, and, “Happy Independence Anniversary,” he greeted. “Damn, bro; are you crazy”? I responded. No, actually, I said it like some unschooled African-American would put it…“Damn, nigger, IS you crazy, meeen? You woke my ass up to congratulate me that some crooks and incompetents have totally fucked up my country, which some heroes wrestled out of the grip of the Brits in 1960? Nigger, if I didn’t love you like cooked food, I wouldn’t wait to get to you physically to punch your nose; I would have employed African remote-control to punch you right now through this phone line, meeen!!!”

My friend was laughing his head off at the other end of the phone line. He purposely called to tease and mock me, because he knew that there’s no way that I would celebrate Nigeria’s so-called independence. Then, he said: “I know what you mean, bro. I know Nigerians, especially senior citizens, who feel stranded in the US, frustrated, because they want to go home to live out the rest of their lives in their homeland, but they are scared to go because the place is a big mess.”

Yeah, I know, some holier-than-thou “patriotic” Nigerians would quickly tell me that those people should come home and help to fix the fucked-up country; I’ve heard this several times. Of course, ordinarily, that’s the right thing to do; but, did you know that many have dared, and met serious doom? I know some Nigerians who swore never to return to Nigeria again…ever! If you hear the story of the shit that they went through in Nigeria, you would think twice about your demand for patriotism from them, meeeen!!!

NIGERIA’S EXECUTIVE BRANCH AT 60:

Let’s start my overview of the general state of Nigeria at 60 with the Executive Branch of government. I have already blogged all the issues before, so, you may call this my INDEPENDENCE SUMMARY. The gist is that the state and federal (especially the federal) governments of today are so bad, that every bad element in the society has grown several times worse than it used to be. So, I put a barrage of questions to every Nigerian who said the “Happy Independence” bullshit to me, thus: What independence? What the fuck are you celebrating and happy for, huh? Happy that you are now enslaved by very few of your own so-called brothers, instead of the Brits under whom we had better life?

Entire Nigerians should have stayed home on October 1, 2020, all clad in black clothing, to mourn Nigeria. The “Happy Independence” reciters are only happy for our few slave-drivers, the rulers (not leaders) who are living larger than ancient Roman Emperors with our collective wealth, while the rest of us (their slaves) are in total misery. I sure ain’t happy as a Nigerian, because, for me, there is nothing like independence in Nigeria today. We are slaves for our rulers, our so-called brothers, worse than we were in the colonial days, period!!!

THE REAL PROBLEM WITH BUHARI’S PRESIDENCY:

This segment is hinged on my belief that Muhammadu Buhari could have been a much better president now, if only he had good aides around him. I illustrate this with my already blogged observation that our president PROMPTLY became better in some characteristic ways as soon as Abba Kyari died, and was succeeded by Gambari as Chief of Staff. Buhari now responds to issues, even if we don’t always like the responses. And, even if it’s coincidental, I credit Gambari for this bit of positive change.

If I said it once, I said it a thousand times, that Buhari’s media and political appointees are the bane of his administration, and they are nigeria’s real problem, not necessarily Buhari himself. Many aides are often too dumb, or/and too mischievous to aid our president aright. I want to cite their speeches for him, which are always full of shit. Citing the most recent, for instance, it’s so appalling that a team of people that call themselves presidential “handlers” actually came up with President Buhari’s 2020 insensitive Independence Speech. The president came on TV and basically told us, as if we’re all idiots, that there is little problem in Nigeria today; that we’re better off today than five-and-odd years ago before he became president. And I’m like…wait just a gaddamn minute; is our president in Nigeria at all? Even if he lives outside Nigeria; doesn’t he bother to listen to all the news about the goings-on in Nigeria, and the people’s frustration and agitations?

In fact, even if Mr. President was slumbering on the faraway Planet Mars, he’s bound to have heard the huge continuous rumble in the jungle that we call Nigeria on Planet Earth. The evils in the land are shaking and vibrating every planet in the entire universe, more than enough to wake up any slumbering person on any planet to the realities in Nigeria. Among other obvious problems, Mr. President’s ethno-religious bigoted and clannish policies have dangerously divided Nigeria like never before in history. But, our president virtually tells us that all is great and dandy. This is the handiwork of his mischievous and insensitive speech writers who enjoy to flex their autocratic muscles and TALK DOWN at us. For instance, Shehu Garba has just told us, right after the so-called Independence Day, that those of us that are agitating for the “restructure” of Nigeria are talking nonsense. Almost, if not the entire southern region, the Middle Belt, and even some sensitive and sincere northerners who do not agree with the current structure and the injustices therein, want a restructure, but the almighty Shehu virtually tells us to shut the fuck up and accept what has been dished out to us.

Folks, when I use and emphasize some phrases or words like ‘virtually’ above, I know what I’m doing…guarding against ‘misquotation-libel’ suit, that’s what. The dude did not use my exact words, but his non-spoken attitude in his delivery says ‘shut the fuck up’ to me. Like I always say, a person in Garba’s position should be able to sell shit to the public with a nice attitude that would make the public want to kiss him for the shit, as if it’s gold; and, vice versa.

It is on record that our president, Buhari, has confessed few times, that he had no idea that things had gone so bad. Each time he confessed and expressed such shock, I actually saw the president Buhari that used to be my hero, speaking his own mind…sincerely. Once in a while, such confessions come naturally from a sincere mind, when he is not reading a script.

Then, probably, his political and media handlers say something like…‘Ah ah, oga, you shouldn’t say things like that ooh. You’re admitting that you have failed woefully.’ So, they “handle” him not to make much unscripted speeches. And, in his next scripted speech, they mislead him to contradict himself and tell us that everything has been great and dandy since he became president. For instance, in his October 1, 2020 Independence Speech, the writers did what the late Bob Marley sang in a song…“playing it smart, without being clever.” They mischievously or ignorantly thought that they were smart to compare petrol costs between Nigeria and other countries, but not clever enough to realize that their stupid comparison works against them and the president in a complete and sincere analysis.

They told us that we should not complain that we are paying too much for fuel, after all, Saudi Arabia, Chad and other crude oil producing nations pay above N200 per litter, whereas Nigerians pay only N152 per litter. Are the speech writers really that dumb, or acutely mischievous, huh? They didn’t think of comparing the huge, huge, humongous difference in the income of an average Saudi, and the social amenities/infrastructure available to him/her, among other factors. Saudi mandatory public sector minimum wage is equivalent of three hundred thousand naira per month, with social amenities that make life easy; whereas Nigeria’s minimum wage per month is only a paltry fifteen thousand naira per month; with a harsh society that has no social infrastructure or amenities.

This means that an elementary school drop-out housemaid in Saudi Arabia can actually, comfortably, employ a Nigerian college graduate as her own house keeper. Our next door neighbors, the Chadians, who Buhari’s writers also compared their fuel cost, have minimum wage equivalent of 41 thousand naira and change per month, with good social infrastructure/amenities, and less commodity inflation rate. Nigeria, the comatose Giant of Africa with relatively zero infrastructure/amenities, finally, grudgingly, after so much hand-twisting, approved a raise from the misery 15 thousand naira minimum wage, to a more misery N30 thousand per month. More-misery, indeed, because the N30k today has less value than N15k of yesterday. With the announcement of the so-called raise, the cost of commodities and services skyrocketed.

Sadder, is that majority of the State rulers, who live like gods of wealth, refuse to pay the N30k, which was announced almost a year ago. And, costs of commodities remain up in the sky, out of the reach of Nigerian workers. Mind you, the governors’ so-called “security votes” alone are as much as three billion naira per month, per state. Folks, the governors do not have to account for the funds; legally, they spend the “Security Vote” funds as they want, in addition to their huge pay packages, meeeeeeeen!!!

Some Nigerians, including I, hoped and expected our president to do something positive after every sincere confession of his lack of knowledge of some goings-on in the country. But, no, sir/ma’am; instead, in his next speech, our president reads to us a misconceived speech written by incompetent and insensitive handlers, who consistently mislead him into the APC blame-game that Obasanjo and Jonathan destroyed everything. They did it again in his 2020 Independence Speech. Yet, the entire world, and even all the outer planets of the entire universe, know that, under Buhari, every single element of society has gone from ‘good,’ ‘bad,’ or ‘fair’ (depending on the element in question), to worst. The grammatical-correctness of ‘bad’ to ‘worse’ before ‘worst’ no longer holds here, meeeeen!!! Buhari’s Nigeria skipped ‘worse’ and fast-forwarded straight to WORST society that Nigeria has ever had. Meanwhile, his appointees continue their looting and destruction of the country with utmost impunity, quite undaunted by the so-called probes that are currently going on in various agencies.

For instance, once upon a blog, on June 27, 2020, I called Buhari’s Humanitarian Minister, Sadiya Farouq a huge liar, barely short of calling her a huge crook. She had claimed that over 95 percent of Igbo people of Southeast Nigeria had received her Ministry’s Covid-19 cash palliative. In late September, the Independent Corrupt Practices Commission (ICPC) declared, “We discovered payments to some federal colleges for school feeding in the sum of 2.67 billion during the lockdown…and some of the money ended up in private accounts…we are investigating…” This supports my blogged suspicion that Buhari’s appointees were stealing our covid-19 palliative funds, especially in the most stupid claim to be feeding ghosts in deserted covid-19 schools.

I had bluntly called Farouq a huge liar last June because I had evidence that the claim credited to her about Igbo palliative was a lie, a BIG ONE! I had a poll on several national and international predominantly-Igbo Social Media platforms, made up of several million members altogether, to ask Igbo people how true Farouq’s claim was. In the responses, not even a single Igbo person said that he/she received, or even knew anybody that received Minister Farouq’s phantom money. If curses could kill, Farouq would have died from all the curses that some respondents heaped on her for that “evil claim,” which she made in defense of the Igbo people’s cry of marginalization by Buhari administration. I did not need the frequently compromised court of Nigeria to sanction my allegation that Farouq lied like a motherfucker. My findings are verifiable. However, I can’t call her a looter; not yet. I do have to wait until our fucked-up court pronounces her guilty, if anybody ever makes any effort. Besides, she is said to have stated that the diverted N2.67 billion was from the Ministry of Agriculture, and not her Ministry. Ministry of Agriculture? In School Feeding? Well, in spite of her apparent previous huge lie, “No Bullshitting” fair benefit of doubt still belongs to her for now, while the ICPC investigates. Meanwhile, my suspicion (not allegation yet) still remains that she is most likely to be guilty of looting. Nobody would tell such evil lie without something to hide.

Folks, bad as Obasanjo was in his own ways, in his days as president, looters would not dare to be as bold and fearless as they are today, meeeeen!!! A Nigerian parlance would ask, “Who born you” to dare and steal so boldly under Obasanjo? When you looted, you’d better be sure that you could conceal it well, or that you had his blessing to do it. Otherwise, he would disgrace and call you “ole” (thief) in public, and he would decisively deal with your ass. The only comparison to Buhari’s looters’ impunity, were Jonathan’s looters. So, I repeat that the nonsensical blame-game of APC annoys me more than all the failures of this government.

Sure, we do agree that presidents Obasanjo and Jonathan did fuck up, too; but, isn’t that the reason for the massive votes that Nigerians legitimately gave Buhari in 2015 when he deceived and promised us that he would change things around for us? And then, rather than the change that he promised, his propagandists spent his entire first term to blame Obasanjo and Jonathan, while his people went on their looting spree that makes Jonathan and Obasanjo to look like saints. With their near destruction of the country within just four years, the APC dudes were aware that they might not get even buhari’s own mama and papa to vote for him for re-election in 2019, if they were still alive and sincere as I believe that they were. So, the riggers conducted the worst rigged election in the history of Nigeria, to force themselves on us for a very undeserved second term, with scores of Nigerians massacred in the rigging process.

So, I’m offended that we are rapidly sliding back to the ancient days, with worse societal decay than the ancient days, and Nigerians are celebrating independence from the Brits. Today, lives of nama (cattle) are more sacred in Nigeria than human lives. The killing of one cow can easily result in a jihadist rampage that claims several human lives, unchecked by the government of Buhari. Cattle also have more right of road than vehicles and humans; and I ain’t talking about inside villages, I mean on major highways and roads inside cities. This includes the heart of the city of Abuja, which is the Federal capital of Nigeria…just like having cows take over major roads in Washington DC, in the USA. When cattle occupy major roads and highways in Nigeria, vehicles and humans have to stop and wait for as long as it takes the herdsmen (more like little herdsboys) to take their sweet time to herd the cattle off the road. This is part of the bullshit that Nigerians are celebrating in the name of independence.

NIGERIA’S LEGISLATURE & OUR LOOTMAKERS AT 60:

The evils in Nigeria’s legislature at 60 are too numerous to go into, so, I will mention just a couple of issues that I already blogged several times in the past. My overall gist is that the lawmakers do us much more harm than good. They include too many known and convicted criminals, and they are only interested in feeling their bank accounts with our money. No wonder, I nicknamed them loot-makers, while other Nigerians call them legisla-thieves, and other similar names. I’ll pick it up from the matter of minimum wage, which I already discussed above. The lootmakers are supposed to protect the interest of the people, but they are not interested in that. They openly loot tens of millions of naira every month, each, from our treasury, in the name of remuneration; yet, they refuse to fight for the people’s wages.

I always ask if those people have any souls at all? We’re talking about 30 million naira monthly wages (or whatever the fuck they call it) for few individuals who don’t do shit, while the real workers, We, The People, who they are supposed to represent, receive misery N15 thousand naira. They totally ignore the cries and agonies of the hard working Nigerians for full implementation of the misery N30 thousand minimum wage that was announced about a year ago.

Mind you, these are people who deserve no wages at all, because they don’t really work for us. They consistently pursue evil, more-enslaving laws for the “Babylon,” and refuse to give us (their employers), the laws that we want and need. For instance, we have demanded a life-saving and democracy-entrenching electoral law for 20 years, and the loot-makers refuse to budge. And, we are all aware of their reason to refuse to pass the electoral reform law; they know that we will choose decent human beings, and vote their motherfucking evil asses out of our Hallowed Chambers, at least most of them…and some of them straight into prison, meeeeeen!!!

NIGERIA’S JUDICIARY AT 60:

I already remarked above that Nigeria’s judiciary is fucked-up at age 60. What else does one, sincerely, call a court system that, among many evils, denies the citizens the right to protest against misrule, as enshrined in our constitution, huh? Who the hell wants to celebrate such court system, which has not gained independence from the Executive Branch; a court that is cowed by the Executive to stifle the citizens’ constitutional rights, huh? To name one specific evil, I will not be proud of a court system that used abracadabra to give Imo State governor’s seat to Hope Uzodimma, who later confessed that Abba Kyari made him governor, meeeeeen!!!

We moved from “heaven” (British colonialism), into “hell” (enslavement by our own so-called brothers), and Nigerians are celebrating. Yes, indeed, Nigeria today, compared to the days of the British colonization, is like jumping from frying pan (the Brits) to escape the heat, right into the blazing fire (Nigerian leaders); or, indeed, like jumping from heaven to hell. And, rather than express the anger that they feel, some Nigerians are talking about “Happy Independence.” Meeeen, who the fuck is truly “happy” to live in hell, in the fucked-up name of “independence”, huh?!!!

Call me unpatriotic, call me saboteur, or anything else you would, I don’t really give a fuck, when I say that I wouldn’t mind if the Brits come back today to re-colonize us, rather than having my own so-called brothers making us slaves. Some Nigerians can speak all their bullshitting “politically-correct” grammar in celebration of nothing, if they like; but I say it as I feel it. If Nigeria will do this badly in the next 60 years, then, we should be re-colonized again, meeeeen!!!!

The sad thing about this is that we do have all the natural resources to be among the greatest nations without the Brits, but, We, The People Of Nigeria, have allowed crooks and incompetents to destroy the country. Even sadder, is the fact that Nigeria has abundance of decent and competent citizens who can easily give us a great nation with our abundant resources; but the evil and the incompetents always illegally grab the power through violence to rule us, instead of lead us well.

WE, THE PEOPLE OF NIGERIA AT 60:

The blames about the leadership woe of Nigeria at 60 is far from complete without a mention of those of us that are being led. Indeed, I heap most of my own blame on the led, “We, The People Of Nigeria,” to whom the constitution gives the sovereignty, and rightly so. It’s we who fucked it all up, not really the rulers. They are just a few people, gadamn it; and we let them to destroy the country! It is true that a people deserve the leadership that they have. Nigeria has few crooks and numbskulls destroying our country, and ‘we siddon dey look them, like mumu (fools).’

When President Trump called us baboons for this atrocious docility, some Nigerians called for his head on a platter. Some said that he needed to apologize for insulting Nigerians (Africans). Bull-fucking-shit, said “No Bullshitting” Blog to those Nigerians. Sure, Trump can be a total ass himself sometimes, but “even asses make good mess sometimes,” so says a key “No Bullshitting” twin-principle of objectivity and sincerity. This time, the man was brutally blunt about facts, calling us some ugly names in the process, and that made him the “No Bullshitting” man of the month. Remember, “No Bullshitting” is an antidote to Nigeria’s “political-correctness” bullshit. Nigerians knew that Trump was correct in content, but, some wanted him to be ‘politi-diplomatically-correct in language…nicer and non-racist.

Any racism in Trump’s message was/is secondary to me in this matter. The Grand Wizard of the infamous Ku Klux Klan would actually kill you if he gets hold of you, as he calls you much worse names than Trump did. But, is what he calls you true, or not? If true, why the fuck not learn a great lesson from a statement by a racist pig, who happens to state facts, huh? Trump merely told us to resist our own so-called brothers who are enslaving us in worse ways than the British colonization. Are we not exactly what Trump called us, when we allow very few crooks to ruin Nigeria? The constitution is there to support us, if we want to grab our sovereignty back from the crooks that have subjugated us for too long…that’s what Trump was saying, in his own way. He was saying that our only reason for going through hell like slaves in our own country, is being a bunch of docile, subjugated cowards, and that makes us baboons, in his opinion. Fuck the “racism” sentiments, and get objective about the message, I always say, any day.

Rather than unite against the common enemies as Trump admonished, we turn against each other. When armed robbery or thuggery or banditry happens, it’s most often by one slave to another. Some of us dupe their fellow slaves, and, the worst-hit by such dupes, are diaspora Nigerians. As soon as a victim enters Nigeria, some wolves in the country are waiting to scam him or her dry, and reduce him/her to a pauper, within six months. The country is so fucked-up and the citizens are so hungry that, sometimes, one is actually tempted to pity a Nigerian rogue who duped him or her to survive. Those are some of the problems that Nigerians outside Nigeria come into, in addition to persecution wherever they sojourn, just for bearing the Nigerian nationality. So, many diaspora victims leave Nigeria, and swear never to come back again.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I must say this to my non-Nigerian readers: Please note that the above scenario is not stereotypical. It does not in any way intend to imply that Nigeria is full of “wolves,” no, sir/ma’am!!! The motherfuckers that dupe people are minuscule in number, very few, just as in every society of the world. But, you know what they say, “empty (bad) vessels make a lot of noise,” and, their noises pollute the entire environment…if you know what I mean. The first day that I ever set foot in China (Guangzhou), I was scammed of 1,000 U$D by currency scammers…and similar in every other country that I have traveled. If anything, this is a warning to my brethren in the diaspora, to beware of the few wolves when they enter Nigeria. There are good people, be careful to look well for them. Do remember that the “empty vessels” are louder, and easier to locate.

Finally, and very annoying, too many bullshitting Nigerians are quick to tell us that we should not compare Nigeria to America whose constitution we copied, because, “America is 244 years old” (independent since July 4, 1776). And, I’m like…Motherfucker, America has spent the time to develop democracy; we don’t need to re-invent it. All that we have to do is to plug into the concept and adapt it to our culture and environment, shikena! Even idiots and children can achieve this within a couple of years, if only some us were not so evil.

So, you actually want to wait 244 fucking years to do simple right things? 244 years to stop the crooks and incompetents who murder people to rig themselves into power…244 years before we can put our abundant decent and competent Nigerians to build the country…244 years to stop jihadist atrocities, and occupation of our major roads and farms by cows…244 years to structure the nation for equity and fairness to all…244 years to say ‘no’ to buhari’s compromised puppets that call themselves our lawmakers…244 years to do what, motherfucker????? America fared much better when she was only 10 years, than today’s Nigeria at age 60. Besides, how about several other countries that got independent after Nigeria, with far less resources, which are gazillion times better than Nigeria, huh, huh, huh??? Let’s stop the bullshitting, meeeeeen!!!!!

0 Reviews

Write a Review

Read Previous

HOW FREE IS “FREEDOM OF SPEECH,” REALLY?

Read Next

HALLELUJAH, OSHIOMHOLE HAS BEEN DISGRACED ONCE AGAIN

245 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Most Popular

Follow by Email
Instagram