MADNESS AT NIGERIA’S NATIONAL ASSEMBLY

Note: First published on November 10, 2019. The “published” date on the tab is the date that it was uploaded on this new site. Though some issues in this piece may still be current (depending on…), this info is to avoid mistaking the piece as current news.

This is “No Bullshiting,” by Harry Agina.

Greetings!

I am not the original author of those words in my title. They are keywords expressing the current rage among citizens all over Nigeria. And, it’s for a good reason, too! They woke up on Tuesday the 12^th of November, 2019, to the news of yet another bullshit by Nigeria’s federal loot-makers, who are called lawmakers. The lootmakers are discussing a crazy bill for a law to kill Nigerians for speaking. Nigerians feel that the lootmakers are the worst enemies of Nigeria, who should be killed for all their self-serving atrocities. Instead, they want to make a law to kill innocent citizens who condemn them and their atrocious government. I have something to say about this evil bill that was introduced by a monster, or monsters, meeeeeeeeeen!!!

The bill on the floors of Nigeria’s National Assembly is titled hate-speech bill. If they pass it into law, Nigerians will be killed by hanging when they say any word that the evil architects of the law may define as hate speech. And, naturally, many Nigerians are already interpreting this as another evil plot to witch-hunt opposition parties and citizens. If anybody dares to criticize the current government that is commonly described as the most tyrannical in the history of Nigeria, he/she gets executed, meeeeeeeeeeeen!!!

Yes, indeed, it’s on record that all the anti-people decrees of the present federal government of Nigeria are basically for silencing opposition parties and critics of the government. We have seen countless violations of the nation’s constitution. And we have seen flouting of court orders to incarcerate critics of the government. The tyrannical elements in government have thwarted the nation’s Freedom of Information and Freedom of Expression laws with their own debased definition, just so that they can suppress the critics of their demo-crazy and tyranny. This time, the loot-makers that we call lawmakers want to give the government a license to go beyond lawless incarceration, and silence critics by hanging.

It is on record that APC has two sets of laws today; one for APC members and few favored citizens, and the other for the rest Nigerians. Here are few examples:

1. APC’s 2018 decree on “Fake News” was flagrantly violated by APC members just a few days after it was introduced. In fact, the nation’s Information Minister, Mr. Lai Mohammed (the very person that announced the decree to us) was among the first to violate his own decree. He told several blunt lies, provable,to defend the terrible performance of the APC government. Also, Buhari’s Assistant (or is it Adviser) on Social Media, Mrs. Loretta Onochie has violated the fake news decree a gazillion times. In her desperate effort to look good to her boss and keep her job, Onochie came up with several evil lies to rubbish PDP’s presidential candidate prior to the 2019 presidential election. In one case, Onochie lied that Atiku Abubakar was on the security watch-list of the United Arab Emirate (UAE). And, when Atiku traveled to UAE and debunked her lie, Onochie, rather than apologize, had the impunity to tweet her maligning twits again. This time she suggested that Atiku  was there to employ terrorists. In another clear and proven fake news, Onochie circulated photographs of food packages containing naira notes, and called them Atiku’s vote-buying packages. Atiku’s law suit against Onochie for her defaming lies is still in court. Both Liar Muhammed and Onochie are still freely walking the streets, contrary to Mohammed’s pronouncement of jail sentence for fake news.
2. Members of President Buhari’s Miyetti Allah group have made several pronouncements that are much worse than all hate speeches in Nigeria put together.Miyetti Allah members have consistently gone as far as threatening mayhem against various sections of Nigeria. In fact, they once challenged the federal government itself with threats. They are evil members of the Fulani kindred of the sinfully clannish President Buhari, so, nothing  ever happens to them. The one time that President Buhari ever responded on TV to the barrage of complaints about Miyetti Allah’s impunity, he simply insultingly waved it aside as a non-issue. Yet, anybody that responded/responds to their threats was/is hounded by the DSS. In one particular case, a Christian pastor was “invited” for questioning by the DSS. His crime was that he told his congregation and Nigerians at large to defend themselves against the threats of Miyetti Allah and the atrocities of their killer herdsmen. The pastor was to be incarcerated, but for the wonderful intervention of activist lawyers who stormed the DSS office with the pastor. The lawyers challenged the DSS’s illegality and successfully demanded the release of the pastor.
3. When President Buhari gave his “shoot-at-sight” order against ballot box snatchers prior to the 2019 general elections, it turned out to be‘shoot opposition at sight.’ APC members boldly snatched ballot boxes and committed all other electoral atrocities including blatant murders. What is more, they used the nation’s military and police to commit those atrocities. And, of course, no shoot-at-sight happened to them. Instead, Buhari’s soldiers were busy shooting innocent opposition members and voters to death.
4. There are so many more incidents of two faces of the law in Nigeria these days; one for the ruling APC, and the other for the rest Nigerians. So, Nigerians are apprehensive, and rightly so, that the death-for-hate-speech bill is for critics of APC and opposition parties.

Besides the matter of two faces of APC laws, I still wonder; who the hell, except a mad man, wants to kill people for speaking, meeeeeeen?!!! Nigerians are enraged that there are so many important issues that are begging for the attention of Nigeria’s lawmakers, and all they think about are nonsensical matters and evil bills. If they are looking for people to kill, I personally tell them the people that deserve to die:

1. Let’s start with death penalty for all the atrocities that the lawmakers themselves commit every day. For instance, we need a law to kill any lawmaker that dabblesinto their common criminality of grabbing contracts from ministries and parastatals. An example is currently trending. A serving senator, James Manager, is alleged to have grabbed 300 contracts from the Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC). This loot-maker is alleged to have been paid in full for 120 of those contracts, and not a single one has been executed. Nigerians know for a fact that there are several cases of such criminality by our lawmakers. They criminally use their powers to intimidate heads of Ministries and parastatals to grab contracts. We need a law to kill such lawmakers, before we get to killing people for so-called hate speech, meeeeeeen!!!.
2. The loot-makers should also make laws for them to be hanged for budget-padding. We also need a law tohang them for all the bribes that they force Nigerian political appointees to pay them before they confirm their appointments by the President. Mind you, I only speak of the evil deeds of the loot-makers that are on record and provable, since 1999. So, I dare them to sue me to court; or would they rather try their killer-bill on me already, before it becomes law?
3. The lootmakers should also start killing all the crooks that are embezzling all the wealth of Nigeria and destroying our economy, whose acts are killing millions of Nigerians.
4. Very importantly, the lootmakers should give us a law to hang all the criminal politicians who send thugs to murder innocent Nigerians on all the election days since 1999. None of them hasever been punished. But, of course, the lootmakers will never make such law because they know that they would be among the first casualties, meeeeeeen!!!
5. Nigeria’s death-traps called roads are killing Nigerians every day, and whoever is responsible to give us good roads should face death penalty for indirect murders, before a man gets hanged for mere talk.

Seriously, how could a normal human being in this twenty-first century ever come up with an evil draconian law to kill people merely for speaking words, huh, huh, huh??? And, how the hell do they define hate speech that warrants death penalty? I’ll tell you how; whatever any Nigerian says against any of the present tyrants called leaders would become hate speech. I tell ya, the architects and supporters of this bill have got to be total monsters, meeeeeeeeen!!!

Somebody once asked me why I stereotype all the federal lawmakers of Nigeria as loot-makers and the worst enemies of Nigeria. Here is my concise answer: The so-called “Hallowed (or Honorable or Holly) Chambers” are definitely not holly, nor honorable. They are chambers of disgrace to Nigeria. The two chambers are full of “Distinguished” and Dis-Honorable crooks. And, I call all the lawmakers lootmakers because they all condone, protect, and defend the crooks among them against every and all public indictments. We have seen them in the past to abandon their duties several times, and trooped to law courts in effort to intimidate judges, in support of their indicted members. They call the madness “solidarity with one of our own.” And, in my book, he who protects or defends a crook is also a crook, period!!! I will stop my stereotyping as soon as the good lawmakers (if there are any) come up with internal mechanism of self-regulation to sanction erring members. They must stop their bullshitting solidarity with criminals among them who give them the bad name as the worst enemies of Nigeria. The trending matter of alleged contract scam by Senator James Manager is a good one to start with…no more bullshiting, meeeeeeeeeeen!!!

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