A Current Affairs And Social Critic Blog

NO-BULLSHITTING-LOGO-1-150x150-removebg-preview

NBB “AFROCULTURAL DRAMAS,” FEATURING “THE DEAL,” EPISODE 4

July 18, 2022

SubTopic: TIME IS RUNNING OUT ON TONYE TO SEAL THE DEAL FOR HER HUSBAND’S BED-MATIC SATISFACTION THIS NIGHT

Here we go again, folks!

Our regulars know what time it is now, and our new readers will soon pleasantly find out, too. It’s time for the 4th edition of AfroCultural Drama on NBB, featuring Polygamy In Africa. Michael Shaibu left us hanging in the last episode of “The Deal.” Tonye was still in the tension over sealing a deal for a substitute for her husband’s bed-matic satisfaction for the night.

It has been established that Waduku, aka Duke, doesn’t fuck around when it comes to his bed-matics, meeeeeen!!! And you can’t blame the dude; after all, he went as far as marrying four wives to ensure steady supply. It’s a turn-by-turn affair among the wives. It’s Tonye’s turn tonight, but she ain’t in no fucking mood for it, literally speaking. According to an existing nuptial arrangement, Duke doesn’t necessarily give a fuck whose turn it is on a particular night, as long as he gets it when he wants it, meeeeeeeen!!!

The poor Tonye has been having a hard time trying to strike one little deal to find her substitute for Duke among her co-wives. We still don’t know why Tonye is not ‘servicing’ Duke tonight. Is it that she is not in the mood for sex tonight…or what? No need to be guessing, and I ain’t got no fucking idea myself either. So, we can all find out by following the rest of Michael Shaibu’s, The Deal,” on NBB’s AfroCultural Drama. We are addressing matters of polygamy in Nigeria, in West Africa. Let’s find out what’s up this time, from fact-based imagination of Michael Shaibu. We’re back to where we left the family in the last episode, thus:

THE DEAL, EPISODE 4

  1. INSIDE DUKE’S HOUSE SITTING ROOM.

WADUKU AND TONYE HOLD EACH OTHER’S GAZE FOR A BIT…THEN WADUKU, SHAKES HIS HEAD IN DISAPPOINTMENT, TURNS ROUND, AND ROLLS NKEM’S TRAVEL BOX OFF…TONYE TURNS ROUND AND FACES BIMBO…BIMBO SHRUGS, TURNS ROUND, AND BEGINS TO GO INTO HER ROOM…

TONYE:

Oh come on, Bimbo.  Are you going back in?

BIMBO (Stops):

Well…what do you expect that I should do?

MEIRO (Chuckles):

Great question!

TONYE TURNS TO AND GLARES AT MEIRO…MEIRO SHRUGS, STIFFLES A GIGGLE, GOES INTO HER ROOM, SHUTS HER DOOR, AND LETS A LOUD LAUGHTER RING OUT…TONYE SHAKES HER HEAD IN REGRET AND TURNS TO BIMBO…

TONYE (Frustrated):

So what do you say?

BIMBO:

Are you ready to meet my cost?

TONYE:

In monetary terms, I am.

BIMBO:

What if what I want is not money?

TONYE:

Then let’s hear what you want.

BIMBO:

That depends on how serious this is.  So tell me…what is this all about?  Is it some kind of OCD?  And how much are you willing to sacrifice?

TONYE DROPS HER HEAD AND REMAINS SILENT FOR A WHILE, THEN SHE RAISES HER HEAD AND LOOKS STRAIGHT AT BIMBO…

TONYE:

Have you noticed that I usually get drunk before being with Duke?

BIMBO:

Uh…well, I think so.  What’s that got to do with this?

TONYE:

It helps me blot out the picture of him in bed with others.  Don’t get me wrong.  I am quite okay with the marriage arrangement.  It is our culture and I like it.  But that is how I feel.

BIMBO:

Well, then get drunk tonight, too.

TONYE:

Duke hates it.  He detests it.

THEY REMAIN SILENT A BIT AS BIMBO THINKS…

BIMBO:

Very well.  Your diamond studded brooch.  That’s what it will cost you.

TONYE THINKS A BIT ABOUT IT, LETS OUT A LOUD SIGH…

TONYE:

Fine.  I’ll get it.

TONYE WALKS OFF…BIMBO IS SHOCKED/PUZZLED THAT TONYE ACTUALLY ACCEPTED…

Fade out…

  1. INSIDE IN THE DINING ROOM, IN THE MORNING.

TONYE IS THROUGH SETTING THE BREAKFAST…MEIRO IS THE FIRST TO COME IN, GREET, AND SIT…THEN BIMBO COMES TOO, GREETS, AND SITS…

TONYE:

Hey!  What are you doing here, Bimbo?  You should go back in.  I’ll serve you and Duke together in his bedroom.

MEIRO:

Yep!  That’s the practice, isn’t it?  Whoever spends the night with him, stays and enjoys breakfast with him in his room…just in case.

BIMBO:

Yep!  In which case, I don’t qualify since I didn’t spend the night with him.

TONYE (Puzzled):

I don’t get it.

BIMBO:

Go and find out.

TONYE IS STILL VERY PUZZLED…BIMBO AND MEIRO BEGIN TO EAT…TONYE WALKS OFF…

  1. INSIDE DUKE’S ROOM IN THE MORNING.

DUKE AND NKEM ARE IN BED, CHATTING…

NKEM:

…nothing to worry about.  My cousin will check in the luggage for me.

WADUKU:

I hope so.  I don’t think I can brave the early morning traffic to the airport.  Besides, I even think I might have to call an Uber for…

SOFT KNOCKS ON THE DOOR CUT HIM SHORT…

NKEM:

Come in!

THE DOOR OPENS AND TONYE WALKS IN WITH THE TRAY OF BREAKFAST, SEES NKEM IN BED WITH WADUKU, AND IS CONFUSED…NKEM SMILING KNOWINGLY…

TONYE (Still puzzled):

I don’t understand.

WADUKU:

Good morning to you too, Sandra.

TONYE:

I’m sorry.  Good morning, darling.  Good morning, Nkem.

NKEM (Smiles, winks):

Good morning.

TONYE GOES TO SET THE TRAY ON THE BEDSIDE TABLE, THEN STRAIGHTENS…

TONYE:

What happened?  When and why did you get back?

WADUKU:

When?  About 3 AM.  Why?  Because I live here!

TONYE:

Not you, Duke.  Nkem.

NKEM:

The flight was delayed for 12 hours.

WADUKU:

And we decided not to disturb anyone when we got back since you already had an arrangement with Nkem.  I simply sent out Bimbo who attempted to usurp.

TONYE:

I see.  Won’t the delay affect the appointment in London?

NKEM:

We have sent an email.  They Okayed it.  So it is all good.

TONYE:

I see.

WADUKU:

Yes.  So uh…could you uh…I mean we need to uh…

TONYE:

Oh, yes, of course.

TONYE WALKS OUT…

Cross to…

  1. INT. DINING. MORNING.

BIMBO AND MEIRO ARE STILL HAVING THEIR BREAKFAST. TONYE WALKS TO THEM, SITS, AND BEGINS TO DISH HER OWN…

TONYE:

Well, uh… since you uh… didn’t do the job, I hope I can uh…you know…have my diamond studded brooch back?

BIMBO DOES NOT EVEN LOOK AT TONYE, JUST CONTINUES EATING…

TONYE:

Bimbo, it’s you I am…

BIMBO (Cuts in):

If this is a joke, Tonye, I advise you to stop it.

TONYE IS PUZLED ALL OVER AGAIN…WILL SHE GET HER DIAMOND STUDDED BROOCH BACK?  WE WILL FIND OUT IN THE CONCLUDING EPISODE, NEXT ON “THE DEAL.”

If you followed episodes 1 and 2, but you missed episode 3, then here is the link for ya:

https://nobullshiting.com/nbb-afrocultural-dramas-featuring-the-deal-3/

But if you need to start from episode 1, then here is the link for ya:

https://nobullshiting.com/afrocultural-dramas-on-polygamy-and-the-deal/

Episode 1 links you to episode 2.

0 Reviews

Write a Review

Read Previous

1001 REASONS WHY NIGERIANS MUST REJECT APC CANDIDATES IN 2023 ELECTIONS, PART 6

Read Next

“KWANKWASO MISREPRESENTS AND DISRESPECTS THE NORTH,” SAYS AYPA

257 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Most Popular

Follow by Email
Instagram