THE INVASION OF THE FUNKY PASTORS, PART 14:

NOTE:  This was recently uploaded here in 2021 when this site was established, but it was actually published years earlier. However, the story of evil BASTARDIZATION and COMMERCIALIZATION of the contemporary Christendom remains the same today; in fact, it is getting worse by the day!!!

This, is No Bullshitting!

It’s Sunday, a good day to veer away from all the heavy political stuffs in my commentaries, and talk about the new-wave Christianity in Nigeria. Do remember—No Bullshitting is all-encompassing; yes, indeed! We address indiscipline in all ramifications—with a wide definition that encompasses all spheres of our society—all the misbehaviors that continue to degenerate our society and make us the scorn of the global community! Also do remember—No Bullshitting as my pseudonym is not meant to portray me as bad, uncouth Harry; no sir!!! It is meant to imply my blunt approach to addressing the ills of the Nigerian society.

Some of my readers have probably come across this treatise on deferent platforms, such as my personal Facebook page, but, trust me; no document stays overnight with me and goes to press again without some adjustments here and there. So, you may actually see something new in this version, if you don’t mind to indulge me.

Today, I want to introduce my book, upon which my series on religion and culture is based. It is also the basis for the No Bullshitting mini-series that I have so far titled “Invasion of Funky Pastors”, because, the book itself is titled THE INVASION OF THE FUNKY PASTORS. The sub-title is CHURCH BUSINESS AT WAR WITH THE AFRICAN CULTURE. The title and sub-title capture the primary and secondary themes of the book. The primary theme addresses the new wave of commercialization of Christianity by depraved Pentecostal pastors, whom I call Funky Pastors, in contemporary Nigeria. And, the secondary theme addresses the negative impact of the acts of the funky pastors on the people and culture of Nigeria. This is my introductory piece to this religious series, which is actually the ‘Preface’ of my book, thus:

When I left Nigeria as a boy for the United States of America in search of the proverbial greener pastures, there was Christianity in Nigeria, and, there was the African Culture, which, of course, had always been there long before I was born, and long before Christianity came to the continent of Africa, and the country Nigeria. I had grown up in both cultures, and they were both doing just fine. Christianity had fed me with the word of God, while my African Culture made me desirably and proudly African, different from a white man, an Indian, Asian, Hispanic; indeed, different from all other races of the world. That was many years ago in the 1970s.

Today, when I go home to visit my small remote African village in Nigeria to enjoy some of the cultural values that I have missed so much while in the western world, my brethren in the village insist that I have no right to do so anymore. Indeed, the entire country seems to be heading toward the crazy notion that the African Culture is now out of fashion. The people’s excuse as they condemn and attempt to annihilate their own culture is that their new-wave “born-again” Christianity has shown them The Light. This ignorant trend makes me angry, and I want to do something about it. I believe that this treatise is a start.

I must prepare my reader’s mind for my general hardnosed criticism of the ills in the contemporary Nigerian Church. In particular, I have a major problem with some so-called men of God and their zombie-like followers, who have totally misconstrued ‘born-again Christianity” in various ways. Some of them have suddenly decided to declare a total war against the culture of our land in the name of Christianity. 

I totally disagree with their misguided, often hypocritical attitude and its consequent behaviors, which are spurred by their gross misinterpretation of the Holy Bible and the teachings of Jesus Christ. What amazes me more than words can express, is that some of those who are destroying the desirable customs/traditions of the African culture, are often the same people who would not support the abolition of some customs that are truly undesirable. A good example of the thriving undesirables is the nonsensical Osu-caste system in Igbo land of southeastern Nigeria. I hold back no punches as I express my views here! One might even say that my criticism is venomous, but I would rather call it brutally frank, or frankly brutal.

Characteristically, Nigeria is a hush-hush society where controversial matters are often ‘swept under the carpet’ to avoid “embarrassment.” I always ask—whose embarrassment? This pathetic ideological anomaly—see-evil-but-speak-no-evil—was cultivated in Nigerians by our self-serving ruling-class. We are not supposed to expose or criticize the numerous atrocities committed by the ruling class in the society. If we do, the tide is turned against the critic and he/she becomes the bad guy. 

The next thing you know is that the accuser suddenly becomes the accused; he/she is said to be “embarrassing Nigeria in the global community.” The leaders are so conceited and impudent to equate themselves with the nation, and any Nigerian critic of their evil deeds is labeled “unpatriotic,” accused of damaging the image of the nation in the global community by exposing the rot in our country. And, non-Nigerian critics are accused of maligning Nigeria; tagged enemies of the country. As we waste time with this diversionary blackmail of the critics, the real criminals—the so-called leaders—are getting away with the atrocities for which they are criticized.

This information-censorship phenomenon has spread to every sphere of the Nigerian society, including, alas, the Christendom! For instance, no matter how heinous a crime or sin that a cleric/pastor may commit, we are not supposed to criticize him/her. If we do, we are accused of challenging “God’s Anointed;” and this is tantamount to challenging God. I think it is absolute nonsense! And, I will tell you many terrible reasons for my position. For this position, I anticipate a lot of criticism from my Nigerian readers, for seemingly ‘attacking’ the church in this treatise. It may not really matter to my critics that I have stated reality; the fact is that criticizing the church in any form—no, I mean, criticizing the clergy—is not a welcome idea in Nigeria. My concern is that, unfortunately, the new-wave, job seeking, mischief-makers that I describe as funky pastors are grossly abusing the extreme reverence that is showered on the clergy by average Nigerian Christians!      

My worry, ultimately, is that average “born-again Christians” in Nigeria are blind/ignorant followers of these new-wave pastors. Too many Nigerians are willing to let criminals get away with atrocities merely because they claim to be pastors or “men of God.” Too many are willing to die without question because the so-called men of God say so! True-life examples abound here in my story.

I do want to state clearly, however, that any unsavory comment that I make in this book is not directed at true anointed men of God. No, sir! God forbid. It is directed at the flurry of mischievous jobseekers who parade themselves as pastors or men of God. I can only say whoever the cap fits; let them wear it. And, no apologies from me to anybody that the cap does fit! I do recognize that true men of God do exist in Nigeria; the problem is that there are so few of them. The rest are a bunch of job-seeking crooks who capitalize on the emotional vulnerability of many Nigerian Christians that very often follow them into socio-cultural pits without a question. Meanwhile, the “funky pastors” are smiling, no, I mean, they are laughing all the way to their private banks. That is the name of their game—m-o-n-e-y—money!

I proudly declare that I am a Christian, and would never condemn Christianity, or any other religion for that matter. Also, I am not condemning the ignorant born-again Christians who err inadvertently, because, as Christ said on the cross, they know not what they do. Besides, condemning the ignorant bunch may amount to being judgmental, and I certainly do not qualify to judge anybody. However, I do certainly qualify to criticize the obvious bad deeds of crooks who call themselves pastors or men of God!

But, you see, my worry is that many Nigerian Christians have been indoctrinated to grossly misconstrue the term judgmental, vis-à-vis the term critique. Critics of pastors are often erroneously accused of being judgmental. Yet it is clearly written in the Holy Book that false prophets will try to take over the world, and we must SEEK THE DISCERNING SPIRIT OF GOD to expose and avoid them. The good book does not say that we should embrace and give them whatever they want, and the Lord alone shall judge them later, as I hear many ignorant Christians say very often. The good Book does not in any shape say that criticizing the false prophets is judgmental; it says Touch not My Anointed. The funky pastors that I talk about are DEFINITELY NOT ANOINTED! Besides, show me a verse that you understand to say that criticizing a pastor (funky or not), or even a bishop or pope, is wrong, and I will show you how wrong your interpretation is, with clarifying citations in our same Holy Book. Also, read on, and within this treatise I will show you in history where popes committed or supported some of the most heinous atrocities ever known to humankind!

Some of my postulations may sound outlandish to you at first glance, but I ask of you to go ahead and read my well-researched details with an open mind. Who knows, maybe you will love to hate them; or hate to love them! Maybe you will even fall in love with my style. I do know one thing for sure—you will definitely love the intrigues in some of my stories!

The first edition of this book was published in 2010 in the USA by Authorhouse Publishers, shortly after which I realized that I did not do my subject matter enough justice, especially with my omission of the topics of TITHE in the Christendom, and the OSU-CASTE SYSTEM in Igboland of Nigeria. Hence, this second edition was born, which has turned out to be more than double the volume, and, if I must say so myself, more intriguing than the first edition!

This is the end of the ‘Preface’ of the explosive book titled THE INVASION OF THE FUNKY PASTOTORS; subtitled CHURCH BUSINESS AT WAY WITH THE AFRICAN CULTURE. Do look out for the beginning of my blog miniseries of the same title…THE INVASION OF THE FUNKY PASTORS…No Bullshitting!!!

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