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NOTE: First published on June 26, 2020. The “Published” date on the tab is the date that it was uploaded on this new site. 


This is “No Bullshiting,” by Harry Agina.

Image-Making is an important function of a presidential or political party’s spokesperson, especially in a democracy. And, who is an Image-Maker? I have who he/she is, and who he/she is not:

  1. An Image-Maker or spokesperson manages the errors, or boo-boos, or gaffes of his or her principal. He/she manages the principal’s errors to appear or sound acceptable to the public. The object is to ensure that the principal has favorable public image. He/she also projects the principal’s good attributes, and capitalizes on them to overshadow the bad attributes in the public domain. But, he or she is definitely not to pretend that the principal is a saint that does no wrong. All mortals sin; no saint out there!!!
  2. An image-maker’s job is certainly not to tell the public to shut the fuck up and accept whatever the principal does, as some of APC’s half-baked propagandists (called spokespersons) do.
  3. A good spokesperson/image-maker endeavors to endear his/her principal to the public; and not to attract public hatred that destroys the image of the principal.
  4. A good Image-Maker possesses cordial character or disposition, as well as the artistry of communication. He/she needs constructive and mature language, to achieve the following:
  5. Present or defend bad acts, or bad policies, or bad decisions of the principal in ways that are more acceptable to the public. This is not achieved with ‘take-it-or-leave-it’ arrogance and
  6. Respond cordially with civility to public criticism of the principal; not insult critics with the autocratic, irresponsible, combatant outbursts of Nigeria’s APC team.
  7. Advise the principal to be sensitive to the opinions and feelings of the public.

Sadly, I hardly hear, nor see any of the major APC or presidential spokespersons that shows much interest in the above elements of my definition of their job. They prefer to bark insults at whosoever that criticizes President Buhari and the APC government. They completely forget that even the best government in the world must be criticized, not to speak of bad ones such as Buhari. They want us to ‘siddon like mumu’ (sit like fools) and accept all the bullshit in Nigeria without a word. Their autocratic, unprofessional, confrontational attitude towards the public is a pure democratic disaster, and a disgrace, meeeeeen!!!

When foreigners and foreign organizations say a word of criticism; APC’s half-baked propagandists descend on them with their senseless accusation of “interfering in the affairs of a sovereign nation.” Yeah, right; sovereign nation, indeed!!! When the government goes borrowing money from those same foreign nations, the cabal members forget all about the sovereignty bullshit. They can give us money as loans and grants, but can’t condemn what they see as misrule committed with their money. Who accepts such bullshit, meeeeeen?!!!

And, when Nigerians criticize the government; the propagandists bark insults at us, as though we are their slaves, in their private fiefdom. Every expression of facts about APC’s government is branded “Fake News;” including facts that even the blind can see, and the deaf can hear. They act as if we are all too idiotic to differentiate facts from fake news, meeeeeeen!!! They act and sound as though they received some orientation courses on gangsterism and ‘bad-mouthing.’ The bad-mouth-king himself, the APC Chairman, grandstanding thug called Adams Oshiomhole, must have trained them all well, meeeeeeeeee!!!

Once upon a blog, few months after Oshiomhole’s emergence as APC National Chairman, I predicted that he would destroy APC, except if APC destroys him first. I didn’t really give a damn about destroying APC or PDP, or whatever party. My concern was the destruction of Nigeria along with APC. It truly baffles the hell out of me, that its spokespersons can actually be so irresponsibly rude. They are totally professionally incompetent in handling the image of their principal, in a democracy. As far as I know, the spokespersons of the worst military government that Nigeria ever had did not behave so rudely to Nigerians, meeeeeeeeen!!!

Those dudes just don’t understand that, even if they justifiably get offended or angered by some public opinions, they must still pretend to be nice. Can they possibly understand that they can actually constructively tell a man that he is a motherfucker, without using that harsh word itself? That’s simple example of the communication artistry and maturity that I speak of.

A guy recently asked me: “How can you, with your hard, raw, and caustic language in your ‘No Bullshitting’ blog, condemn anybody’s indecent communication.” My professional answer is simple, thus: There is a language and character for every communication situation under the sun. My “No Bullshitting” Blog language is living up to the pen-name or pseudonym of the blog. In turn, the pseudonym lives up to the assumed character and purpose of the blog. And, my purpose is to provide a harsh antidote to Nigeria’s annoying “political-correctness” mentality.

Yes, indeed; I hate the excessive “political-correctness” of too many Nigerians; everything is hush-hush. My typical politically-correct person in Nigeria looks at the color black knows that it is black. And, rather than simply say that it is black, he gets into some bullshitting evasive, stuttering rigmarole. It’s something like: “Well, you know, maybe…eemm, it kind of looks like…well, if you ask me…” And, at this point I’m now boiling inside with frustration. I’m like…damn, motherfucker; what the fuck did you think? Of course, you’ve already been asked; so go ahead and tell us already, gaddamit!!! “No Bullshitting” character has no time or room for all that nonsensical rigmarole…just call a spade, a doggone spade, and shame the damn devil, meeeeeeen!!

A typical “politically-correct” Nigerian “Opinion Leader” or Elder Statesman, after all the rigmarole, still leaves me confused. He never tells you, point blank, that this is black, and that is white; no, sir!!! Let’s say that we ask: “Is Governor ‘A’ a thief, or not?” My typical politically-correct respondent knows for sure that the subject is a big crook, and he did steal. But, he still looks for a way to put it nicely; too doggone nicely, if you ask me. My problem with all the bullshitting is that our youngsters don’t get to hear many of their “opinion-leaders” openly and strongly condemn the condemnable in the society. We do have few “No Bullshitting” heroes, such as Governor Nyesom Wike of Rivers State, and Ahmed Issah of “The Human Rights Radio.” But, the heroes are too few to make enough impact on the government.

A favorite verse in the Holy Bible and Holy Qur’an tells us that “evil triumphs when good men keep quiet.” And I add, ‘or when so-called good men are too doggone politically-correct, or simply cowardly, or hypocritical.’ That’s what the “No Bullshitting” character frowns at, and goes to the opposite extreme to combat. But, mind you, and very importantly, that is not necessarily Harry Agina; just a character in a theater of arts. I can also create another blog that assumes the character of Pope Francis and his saintly niceness…anytime, meeeeeeeeeen!!!

And, that’s my point, exactly!!! The purpose and job requirements of a spokesperson of a president or a ruling political party in a democracy, require him/her to wear the cloak of a pope. He/she is not supposed to wear the cloak of the radical “No Bullshitting” character. Buhari’s (APC’s) spokespersons or propagandists are obviously naturally foul-mouthed before they took the jobs, but they should learn and acquire the character or disposition that the job requires. They should control their horrible temperaments, and pretend to be nice persons to the public, for the sake of democracy, meeeeeeeen!!!

I commonly cite Nigeria Police PRO, Frank Mba, as example that Buhari’s team should take a lesson or two from. I feel proud to watch or listen to this dude addressing the criticisms of Nigeria Police, and, God knows that there are plenty. Frank possesses the communication artistry and democratic disposition that I speak of. Sometimes he actually convinces me to reconsider some of the “facts” that I know about Nigeria Police, This wouldn’t happen if he was barking out insults like APC’s spokespersons/propagandists. An impunity-driven temperamental propagandist obviously has nothing constructive to offer, which can positively influence anybody.

Importantly, Frank does not lie that our complaints against the police have no merit, as APC’s propagandists frequently do. Humbly, Frank admits that bad boys do exist in the police, and he apologizes, with promises that the Police IG is working to improve the situation. That’s how a spokesperson or PRO is supposed to act in a democracy, and not to bark at the public like a mad dog, meeeeeeeen!!!

Initially, the APC insults were mostly thrown at southern Nigerians based on ethno-religious sectionalism. Now, as Nigeria gets worse by the day, more northerners have finally decided to stop sectional hypocritical protection of President Buhari and speak out against the misrule. Increasingly, northern elders and opinion leaders are now loudly condemning Mr. President and his terrible government. The Muslim northern masses who were willing to kill for Buhari just few months ago are now cursing him. They now agree that badness has no tribe or religion; that there is no longer room for ethno-religious hypocrisy.

They are now buying into my argument that, if Nigeria will remain one, the ethno-religious hypocritical bullshitting must stop. All the good people in all the tribes and all the religions of Nigeria must work together to defeat all the bad people of all the tribes and religions. It must no longer be about dirty politics and blind sectional hypocritical support to something that is bad. We pray for an era of good versus bad, and no longer tribes and religions versus tribes and religions, as northern elders increasingly condemn Buhari and APC, as they should.

Alas, the half-baked APC propaganda team responded with their customary rain of insult on the northern elders. The presidential Media Aide, Femi Adesina called the elders “generals without troops.” How irresponsible can a spokesperson get…in a democracy!!!! Yet, the same APC panics when the effective “troops” of the “Generals,” the masses, go on protest. And, as usual, APC’s best democrazy response is to arrest the leaders of any protest. This is against our constitutional provisions. Buhari once led such protests during the respective governments of Obasanjo and Jonathan, meeeeeen!!!

Now, if you ask me, or even if you don’t ask me, I’ll still tell you the real culprits of the terrible attitude of our leaders and their propagandists. Nigeria’s national loot-makers, who are called kawmakers; that’s who! They refuse to give us rigging-free electoral reform. Oh yes, indeed!!! We all know that when Nigerians can actually choose their leaders through votes that count, all the leadership impunity will stop. A president, or any leader who is insensitive enough to allow his or her propagandists to insult the public, will never win any more elections, period!!!

I can tell you unequivocally that the APC team truly makes Buhari more hated by Nigerians. He is now un-electable in a reformed electoral system. They do Buhari more harm than Buhari’s own errors. They are supposed to manage the president’s errors; instead, they pour more sand into the man’s garri, which already has plenty of sand. I ain’t bullshitting you, meeeeeeeeeen!!!

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