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AFROCULTURAL DRAMAS ON MONEY RITUAL IN AFRICA, “BLOWBACK,” 2

August 10, 2022

SubTopic: ‘THE MEETING WITH BABALAWO’

This is “No Bullshitting,” by Harry Agina

Folks, it is time again for Michael Shaibu’s “AfroCultura Drama” Series on money-making through “Human-Sacrifice-Ritual,” in Africa. “Blowout” is our theme/title, and this is our second episode. Not to worry, you will soon understand why the series is so titled, “Blowout.” Our focus is Nigeria, in West Africa, where this evil practice has become a monster in recent times. I did tell you myself in the first episode, that Nigeria’s current president, Mohammadu Buhari, is a major cause of this evil surge. Indeed, Buhari’s terrible rulership, with its economic woes, is the cause of so many other crimes that are devastating Nigeria in his past seven-and-odd years as president, meeeeeeeeeen!!!

Buhari made Nigeria “the poverty capital of the world,” as confirmed by international monitors of global economies. And, all hell broke loose, literally, as hungry and dying Nigerians went into whatever it takes to survive. For many Nigerians, it takes criminal activities to survive in Buhari’s economically devastated Nigeria. Hence, armed robbery, kidnapping, and various other crimes surged to all-time records in the country. Many criminals, especially youngsters, went into kidnapping and sacrificing their fellow suffering humans to the African gods in the belief and hope to be reward with wealth by the gods. Whether or not this actually works, is to be addressed as our series continue, both in this drama series, and my regular No Bullshitting blogs.

In the last episode, we saw the three characters, Tochi, Bude, and Toba discussing their new discovery of, and planned venture into money-ritual. As usual with all my series, I have the link to episode 1 for you at the end of this piece. We know that the dudes are already in  Yahoo-Yahoo ‘business,’ which is another form of crime that Buhari’s terrible rulership has surged to record-high in Nigeria. Yahoo-Yahoo is simply a code-name for a contemporary form of fraud, which has given Nigeria a bad name around the world. The practitioners specialize in scamming their stupid and greedy victims to send them money, with all manner of non-existent business promises. In my future regular blog, I will get you acquainted with the workings of Yahoo-Yahoo scamming, and my reason for calling the victims greedy idiots.

For now, let’s just make do with the fact that Toba, Tochi, and Bude are “Yahoo-Yahoo Boys,” as Nigerians call scammers like them. Now, they want to diversify into ritual-money-making. Presumably, they believe that the gods will make their current Yahoo-Yahoo ‘business’ to boom in success. In other words, with the help of the gods, through the ‘Baba,’ their ‘business’ will receive a divine boost. Commonly, ‘Baba’ stands for ‘father’ in Nigeria. It does not necessarily mean that the man who you call baba or father is actually your real father. It serves as a mark of respect for your elder who is old enough to be your father.

In this instance, it is also short for ‘Babalawo,’ which is a word in the language of the Yoruba people of southwest Nigeria. And, ‘babalawo’ means traditional or native “witch-doctor(s).” Other tribes in Africa have their own names for the spiritual ‘doctors’ throughout Africa, of course. But the Yoruba name has dominated the rest in Nigeria. The babalawos are individuals who are believed to possess the power to communicate with the gods of the land in Africa, generally. Naturally, having the power to communicate with the gods also means that the gods give them some supernatural powers. There are good babalawos, and there are bad ones. The good ones use their powers from the gods to do good, including and especially healing the sick. And the bad ones use their own powers to hurt other people in various ways, including making people to run mad, or to get sick.

Now, do I, Harry Agina, actually believe in the efficacy of the babalawos’ hocus-pocus rituals, whether good or bad? I will answer this question in a subsequent blog, which will focus specifically on this subject. But I can tell you right now that I do know that the gods of Africa do have powers. You should also believe this, as long as you do believe in the spiritual world. And, of course, if you do not believe in the spiritual world, then you don’t believe that the Almighty God and the devil do exist. It is actually foolish to believe that the Almighty God and Satan do exist, and yet, you do not believe that the smaller gods also exist.

And, naturally, if you believe that God and Satan do exist, then I think it is silly not to believe that there is a legion of smaller gods in the devil’s camp who do evil, and a legion of good gods, or good spirits, or angels, if you like, in the camp of the Almighty God. If you are a Christian like I am, then you do believe that Jesus Christ is the first in rank in the legion of Godly spirits. When we zero-in on the matter of the efficacy of money-making-ritual, I will personally go further in my own philosophy and beliefs concerning the powers of the African gods in various forms.

Meanwhile, let’s get back to Michael Shaibu’s “Blowout.” We saw in the last episode that Tochi, Toba, and Bude seem to believe that they don’t have to kill or sacrifice any human beings in their money-ritual. We open today’s episode with them now in ‘Baba’s’ shrine. Let’s see how it goes, shall we:

AFROCULTURAL DRAMAS ON MONEY-MAKING HUMAN-RITUAL-SACRIFICING IN AFRICA, FEATURING “BLOWBACK,” EPISODE 2

IN THE ESTABLISHMENT OF THE SCENE, WE SEE A SHACK WITH MODERN ROOFING SHEETS, BUT WITH MUD WALLS…THEN, WE ARE TAKEN INTO THE SHACK, IN THE SITTING ROOM…

  1. INSIDE THE SITTING ROOM, AT DUSK

TOCHI AND BUDE SIT ON A BENCH JUST BY THE ENTRANCE…TOBA IS SITTING ON A MAT IN FRONT OF THE ‘BABA’ (THE NATIVE TRADITIONAL SPIRITUAL/DIVINATION ‘WITCH-DOCTOR’)…BABA IS SITTING ON A CARVED, VERY LOW STOOL, WITH HIS DIVINATION IMPLEMENTS SPREAD IN FRONT OF HIM. HE LOOKS INTENTLY AT THE IMPLEMENTS, MUTTERS SOME INCANTATIONS, PICKS THEM UP, AND THROWS THEM AGAIN ON THE FLOOR, AND THEN HE SMILES AT TOBA…

BABA (Smiles): When the gods want to favor a young man, they give him just a simple task as a means of getting great fortunes.  My son, the gods want to favor you.

TOBA (Smiles gingerly): Oh, I am so grateful to them then.  I will definitely come back to express my gratitude!

BABA: Oh, they know you will. They know you will.  So…won’t you like to know the simple task they want you to perform?

TOBA: Baba, I was raised to know that I must not hasten an elder to tell me something he knows I need to know.  When he deems it right for me to know, he will say it.

BABA (Smiles, nods): That is a well brought up child.  And you will benefit both yourself and the father that raised you like that.

TOBA: Acheee! Acheee!! Acheee!!! (So be it)

BABA: Your task is simple.  For that reason, my charge is simple too.  I am not a greedy Baba.  I am not like the others.

TOBA: May the gods continue to strengthen you for us, Baba.

BABA: Now, listen carefully.  You will get two cocks and a bowl of corn.  One of the cocks will be for me.  That is all I will charge you.  We will keep the other cock till it is very hungry.  After that, we will give it along with the bowl of corn to the gods to fortify.  Is that clear so far?

TOBA: Yes, Baba.  Very clear.

BABA: Good.  After that, we will give the bowl of corn to the hungry cock.  Then we will watch it as it eats the corn and count the number of corn seeds it is able to eat before dying.  Is that clear?

TOBA: Yes, Baba.  But is that all?

BABA: That is all.  We just need to carefully count the number of corn seeds that the cock is able to eat before dying.  Do you know why?

TOBA: No, Baba.

BABA: However many corn seeds the cock eats before dying is exactly the number of years you would live before dying after this.

TOBA IS SUDDENLY SCARED…THE BABA LAUGHS THUNDEROUSLY, THEN FROWNS INTIMIDATINGLY…

BABA: If you are a woman, this is the time to rise and walk away from here.  Now!

TOBA: I am sorry, Baba.  But…what if the cock does not…

BABA (Cuts in): Men with strong hearts don’t give in to “What ifs!”  They decide and then do!  Did I not tell you we will get the cock to be very hungry?

TOBA: You did, Baba.

BABA: Good.  Move!  Let the next person come over.

TOBA RISES AND GOES TO SIT WITH TOCHI…BUDE RISES AND GOES TO SIT WHERE TOBA WAS…WITHOUT WORDS, THE BABA PICKS UP HIS IFA IMPLEMENTS AND WHISPERS INCANTATIONS ON IT.  THEN HE HANDS THEM TO BUDE…BUDE TAKES THEM GINGERLY FROM HIM…

BABA: Those are the ears of the gods.  Hold them close to mouth and whisper into those ears what it is that you came here for and how you need their help with it.

BUDE DOES AS TOLD AND THEN HANDS BACK THE IMPLEMENTS…THE BABA TAKES THEM, MORE OF INCANTATIONS, THROWS THEM ON THE FLOOR, AND THEN LOOKS CLOSELY AT THEM.  AFTER A WHILE, HE TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND LETS IT OUT VERY SLOWLY…

BABA: Hmmm.  My son, how strong is your heart?

BUDE: It is strong, Baba.

BABA: I can guess that it is.  My question is how strong?

BUDE (Jittery): Uh…very strong, Baba.

BABA: Good.  Because what the gods require of you is also not difficult.  But it requires a strong heart.  Do you think you can do it?

BUDE (Gingerly): What is it, Baba?

BABA: Listen carefully then.  We will put you in a used coffin.  Then we will put it under an ancient tree.  That is where you will sleep for three nights, seven nights, or 14 nights.  More nights bring larger amount of money afterwards.  You will be taken out every morning and have the freedom to move about and do everything normally.

BUDE (Gingerly): A used coffin?

BABA: I will not repeat myself.  That was why I told you to listen carefully.  Will it be three or seven or fourteen?

BUDE LOOKS OVER AT TOCHI AND TOBA…BOTH OF THEM SHRUG BACK AT HIM…

TOCHI: In for a penny, in for a pound, man!  Nothing to lose.

BUDE: In that case, let it be 14 nights, Baba.

BABA: Good.  Now, listen to this very carefully: while in the coffin, you must never panic and run out, no matter what!  If you do, that means instant death.  Is that clear?

BUDE: Yes, Baba.

BABA: If you get scared easily, we can give you something that would induce you to sleep all through the night.

BUDE: I would love that very much, Baba.

BABA: Very well.  Will you get the coffin or would you like me to get it for you?  Remember: it must be a used coffin.

BUDE: I don’t know where I can get a used coffin from, Baba.  I need your help with it.

BABA: No trouble at all.  My charge is another used coffin.  So, now you provide money for two used coffins.  Now, rise.

BUDE RISES AND MAKES TO GO BACK AND SIT…TOCHI ALSO RISES AND MAKES TO MOVE OVER AND TAKE BUDE’S PLACE ON THE MAT…

The scene fades to black…

END

It actually looks so doggone easy after all; doesn’t it? But is it that easy, really? I tell ya, if it’s actually this easy, maybe I should consider going for my own share of easy divine wealth myself, meeeeeeeeeen!!!

I mean, what’s the big deal about sleeping in a coffin for 14 nights, especially for a guy who is poor and hungry, huh? I would even opt to do it for a whole month for one-month-worth of wealth instead of just two weeks. Besides, I don’t even have to be awake while in the coffin anyway! So, I ask again; is it really that easy, or, are there what the business world calls, “hidden charges” that suddenly crop up later? Well, that’s for Michael Shaibu to know for now, and for you and I to find out later, as “Blowout” continues in the next episode. Bye for now!

HERE’S THE LINK TO EPISODE 1, AS PROMISED:

AFROCULTURAL DRAMAS ON MONEY RITUAL IN AFRICA, “BLOWBACK,” 1

AND, HERE’S THE LINK TO “BLOWBACK” 3:

AFROCULTURAL DRAMAS ON MONEY RITUAL IN AFRICA, FEATURING “BLOWBACK,” 3

I ALSO HAVE THE LINK TO EPISODE 1 OF OUR “AFROCULTURAL DRAMAS” SERIES ON “POLYGAMY IN AFRICA” FOR YA. EPISODE 1 LINKS YOU TO EPISODE 2, AND 3, AND 4, AND 5:

“AFROCULTURAL DRAMAS” ON POLYGAMY AND “THE DEAL”

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