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MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING IN NIGERIA

NOTE: First published on October 22, 2021. The publishing date that appears on the tab is actually the date that it was uploaded on this new site. The point is that, although issues herein may still be current (depending on…), please don’t mistake this piece as current news.

This is “No Bullshitting”, By Harry Agina.

Greetings, folks!

You know, sometimes I wonder what is wrong with us in Nigeria when we make so much fucking ado about nothing, meeeeeeeeen!!!

Okay, so President Buhari has declared IPOB a terrorist organization in Nigeria. This is due to his personal disposition about the Dot in a circle called the Igbo land, and its Igbo people. But, don’t read me wrongly, though, I have always declared my disagreement with some of IPOB’s approach. Their agitation for equity and fairness for the Igbo race in Nigeria is legitimate, but I disagree with much of their approach, meeeeeeen!!!

Oh, sure, Nigerians and the entire global community see our president Mohammadu Buhari has refused to declare the rampaging killer-herdsmen as terrorists. They are much more harmful, more dangerous, more deadly, and more destructive than IPOB, but they are Mr. President’s kins, so, he refuses to declare them as terrorists, meeeeeeeeen!!!

Um huh, majority of Nigerians from all regions also know that the so-called bandits are  a faction of Boko Haram terrorists in an almost-smart tactical disguise as “ordinary” bandits!!! But, Mr. President refuses to declare them so because they are his northern kins.

Now, I start my point today in form of questions: What fucking difference does it really make whether we declare any group of deadly criminals as terrorists, or not, huh? Why the fuck are we now wasting words and energy pressing our adamant president to declare the so-called bandits as terrorists, huh, huh?? We already know that Buhari will always do whatever he wants to do in his own way, and at his own time, regardless what we tell him. So, what effective change do we actually expect if and when Mr. President finally declares that the so-called bandits are now terrorists, meeeeeeeen?!!!

I mean, we should be concerned with the efficiency of our armed forces and the effectiveness of their war tactics or strategies against these deadly criminals. We should not concern ourselves with whatever fucking name that we call the motherfuckers. Please, ask yourself; do the bullets of our armed forces work more effectively against the criminals when we declare them to be terrorists? I can tell ya, the trinity of ‘Me’, ‘Myself’, and ‘I’, have held our usual conversation on this matter. And, ‘I’ posed this question to ‘myself’, who told ‘me’ that there is absolutely no fucking difference, meeeeeeeen!!!

So, I repeat, why the fuck don’t Nigerians spend more effort in urging our president to try more varieties of effective strategies against all criminals? He needs to empower our armed forces better, to beat the entire gamut of criminals that are destroying our country? Does it make any difference whatever fucking names that they operate—terrorists, bandits, killer-herdsmen, or whatever? Why are we lavishing so much energy on the nonsensical debate about declaring “bandits” as terrorists, huh? Criminals are criminals in whatever name, and our concern should be about defeating them, and not giving them names. I repeat, too many Nigerians, very often, indulge in much ado about nothing! I do know, that you know, that I ain’t bullshitting ya, meeeeeeeeen!!!

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